Boundaries - why are they important?
Fight after fight occurs within marriages, friendships and parent-child relationships. Our happiness levels are at their highest when we are ‘in sync’ with those who are close with us. Trust is a central pillar of a relationship, along with negotiation, empathy and win win outcomes.
This essay will demonstrate the processes & utility in a properly boundaried relationship.
Principles of a properly boundaried relationship:
If these principles are accepted, a relationship can blossom and will last a lifetime. I know in practise its not that easy, but these goals aren't unrealistic.
Stefan Molyneux’s book ‘Real Time Relationships’ sites that emotions can be understood through group discussion. In other words, when a person feels sad, bringing that sadness up with a friend and deciphering its meaning together. This is a dynamic that holds no boundaries, because all subjective theories can be brought to the table, and the less dominant person is vulnerable to manipulation. If one person is less ‘clued up’ then the relationship can only operate at that level. That’s really all there is to it.
A person does well to share their emotional state only wen they have knowledge of its origin - its root cause. 99% of the time, the root is in childhood. Which means that only emotional material that has been previously grieved or processed is fit for discussion with a friend or romantic partner. To clarify, one can speak of unresolved issues if they are referred to as such, along with a clear boundary that the cause of which are not up for discussion - This is the job of a hired professional. Friendships and romantic relationship are not sustainable when emotional issues are being ‘worked on’.
It takes an enormous amount of energy, empathy, self control and knowledge of ones own issues to help someone out an emotional rut - one only payable through a monetary fee and within a professional relationship.
Let’s keep personal relationships healthy and assume responsibility for our own emotions & issues.